Thursday, August 26, 2010

patience

Everyone says "motherhood requires a great deal of patience" and while this is very true they never tell you why. One always assumes (like they do with the book of job) that one must have great patience with the child. This is only sometimes true. They never tell you that the bulk of the patience needs to be with yourself. Who walks up to a mother and her newborn and tells her she must have patience with herself? While she oohs over her pretty sleeping baby no one tells her that some day soon it will awaken and emit a piercing cry that will not be silenced and could go on all day and that in that day she must have patience with herself in order to silence the nagging voice that keeps questioning "why can't I make the baby happy? am I bad for not being able in this moment to give the baby what it needs?" No  one tells you as you send the love of your life into school that for anywhere from three to seven hours you will not know exactly what that child is doing or saying. No one tells you that getting to know the teacher may be difficult because the dynamic is new. I've never had a relationship with a teacher as an equal before and don't know the first thing about getting to know them. so I have new worries that have never occurred to me before.

God rescue me.

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