Sunday, March 30, 2008

March 23, 2008

Easter. This is the day when Christ rose from the grave and gave life to us all. I’m not sure when the holiday began to surround a fluffy bunny that laid colorful eggs filled with gifts but for my family it has always been a time to celebrate being together. My father played Easter Bunny for us when I was small. It was perhaps the only time during the year that he was kind for a change, that he didn’t make biting comments, that he was happy. That is why it has always been special. It’s always been a time of hope, hope that maybe this year he’d be different maybe this year would be better. I’m 28 years old now and it is finally better. It has been since Kay K was born. I have everything I’ve ever wanted. I have my family and my house and we love each other. We are healthy and well off enough to set money aside. We even have plans for fixing up the house and having another baby. I’m so glad this time has finally come.

This Easter I played Easter Bunny for the first time. It was freeing. I stepped in to fill the shoes dad left empty and I’m a lot better than he was. I never thought I’d over come the feelings of inadequacy he planted so deep but they are finally gone. I’m better because of my family. I’m better because I’m loved and can love in return. I’m better because I won’t let anyone do to Kay what was done to me. It’s a new hope this year. I hope things can continue in this way, in this contentment for a very long time.

This morning Clay picked up the candy and trinkets for the hunt and I started on my front porch. With my specialty shaped eggs I started with a bunny on the porch that said in chalk “follow me to Narni’s house”. Arrows in chalk went to Narni’s and pointed her to a ladybug and then to the tiny garden by the sidewalk. “Pick a carrot,” said the sidewalk and there was a bright orange carrot in the dirt. Then on the porch there was a bunny that said, “feed the bunny” and then we went inside. A note on the floor said to look in the garden and that is where she found a note that said to find all the Easter bunny’s bug friends. Three butterflies and three ladybugs and then she got to look in the empty terra cotta pots for carrots and then we went in to find the last bunny and the eater basket that Clay had filled that morning. Kay K loved it and ate candy and played with toys and demolished the chocolate Easter bunny’s ears (pics and pics and pics). It’s one of my favorite times of years.

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